It was a regular Saturday afternoon, and I was home getting ready for some weekend fun time. I was in no rush, I had a good night of sleep and a great brunch, and, in the background, The Clash was playing. Except, as I walked down the corridor came this long shout from within me.
Grrrrrrrrrrr doesn’t make it justice, yet it is the closest I can get to in letters. Or something like this. It was long, it was loud, it was deep. If frustration has its own sound frequency, this would be it.
I had randomly shouted out of frustration many times before, but this was different. It didn’t feel like the sound was even from me, it was something from far beyond, as if I had been overtaken by an entity from beyond.
After the sound had ceased, I went mute, got quiet, and kept still, lost between worlds, feeling the echoes and reverberations of that wave in me.
What the h***?
What If Your Soul Can Get Disappointed at You?
That scream was my very own soul, making it crystal clear to me that I wasn’t ok.
That was six years ago and that single shout changed my life.
At that moment I checked many boxes. I was healthy and energetic, in my late 20’s. I had a great job in a highly purposeful organization, owned my own apartment, was in a beautiful romantic relationship, and had many friends.
So what? I was still constantly stressed, overdrinking, emotionally unstable, and hustling.
I was going downhill because I was checking the wrong boxes — and because of that, I was stuck living the wrong life.
What I heard from my soul at that shout was: Enough! This is not what you came here for, this is not your purpose, you are not being yourself and you are not doing anything about it.
It was a straight, honest, and clear message, and it wouldn’t allow me to reply with any personal BS justification. It is what it is.
Why It Changed My Life
The only reason why this shout-out changed my life was that I dared to listen to it — instead of putting it under the carpet (as I was doing before with all the stress, overdrinking, and hustling). No matter how painful things got, I just told myself these things were normal, I had a good life and just needed to go through it.
When we get big warnings like this from our hearts and souls, we normally dissociate. These are the moments we stop paying attention and start daydreaming, and thinking about something else. We downplay it; we pretend it didn’t happen or it didn’t mean that much. Because we don’t know what to do, we laugh at it.
Sometimes we fight, other times we flight or freeze. We all have our different automatic mechanisms to not deal with the situation.
When we choose to listen, with acceptance, patience, and no judgement, we have chosen to open our mind and hearts, and stay put in loving presence.
What Happened After
After that shout, I started returning to alignment with my soul.
It surely didn’t happen overnight, though. I first left my job, then left my apartment and country, finally my relationship ended. I went on a great journey outwards, and inwards. Yes, I got to learn much more about who I truly am, what I want, and my purpose, so that I could live with fulfillment at a soul level.
Regular life blinded me and I couldn’t see through what I took as normal.
Listening to that shout six years ago took me on my own spiritual, existential, and emotional healing journey that took me to a radically different life that I couldn’t even conceive before. It birthed a radically different me: the real me could finally emerge.
Today I live my life with meaning and fulfillment as I share my gifts and help others in their journey of healing and growth so that they too can live their authentic purpose with clarity, inner peace, and joy.
How Bad Do Things Have to Get?
Our souls are always communicating with us, with the sole purpose of getting us back into alignment with it. It is by realigning ourselves that we get to be our authentic selves, live our purpose, with fulfillment at a soul level.
Despite the pain we feel in life, it’s easy to ignore the signs that the soul sends us — the body sensations, the emotions, the intuition, the stress. We take them as annoying side effects of being human, we overreact instead of taking in the important messages that they are. As a result, our minds keep running the show, with all the “have tos, musts, and shoulds”.
At least this is how I lived for a long time. I am forever grateful for my soul never giving up on me, to the point it eventually got louder and louder. It took me a while, but eventually, I listened.
Sometimes things have to get so bad before we dare to stop, listen, and change.
This shout I share with you might sound like a small everyday thing to you, but for me, it was big, simply because, at that time, I chose to listen. Are you listening?
Enjoyed this piece? I invite you to watch my free video class “Live from the Heart,” a concise video class for you to identify what is blocking you, and learn how to listen and connect to your heart.
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