We talk so much about connection. Be connected. But connected to what?
Connection generates a link, an association, where we are no longer separate and alone. This link can be so strong that we become one with that which we are connected to — we merge.
At times, we might feel separated and alone, even though we know on a mental level, that we are not. This experience of separation and dissociation shows that establishing connection goes much beyond a mental understanding. Just as understanding what wisdom is doesn’t make one wise, understanding you are connected doesn’t necessarily establish connection.
We can establish connection at different energy levels, such as a heart-to-heart connection, or connecting to others that are vibrating at a similar frequency to us. We can connect to different layers of being and different things. We can merge and experience oneness to different extents. As with everything in life, there are multiple layers to connection. Here are a few I would like to share with you:
Connection to ourselves
To our own hearts. To what we feel, to what we truly want, to who we are. We easily disconnect from ourselves when we neglect and don’t listen to our hearts and bodies — and struggle to stay in the present moment. Now, this disconnection from Self is rather easy to occur and nothing to be ashamed of. It is mainly a result of external demands and expectations, pressure and cultural norms, and unresolved trauma.
Connection to reality, within and without
Or rather, awareness of truth, is essential to establishing connection. This is about reducing self-deception and increasing self-awareness. In other words, not living in fairyland. Truth serves love, and truth lives in the heart. With honesty and integrity, authentic connection can be established.
This is about not hiding what we don’t want to see. Not justifying what we know is not ok.
Of course, this is not easy, especially when we are talking about trauma.
Important here is to try to get to a point of seeing what it is, without judgments, no blaming, and no drama: seeing things for what they are, in our own capacity. This way we can accept reality, and understand what our options are, and what actions we can take to move on. When we are living in illusion, even if be it for self-preservation, our connection point is weak. Things don’t work and transform properly. Connections are established in the present moment, here, and now, as it is.
Connection to everything around you
Other people (be it family members and friends, or people you don’t know on the street), organizations, nature, the physical elements. Life is relationships and co-creation. We are forever co-living, co-existing, interacting, and working together. We are never alone, life permeates everything. The more we see and honor relationships, and the more we understand our agency, then the more we can live in synergy, as one. This connection helps us to see things from a higher perspective, and also to feel so alive.
Connection to God, Goddess, the Divine, our Higher Self, Mother Earth, beyond physicality — using any name as fits you
Yes, we can also see the divine in everything around us, be it a person walking on the street or a tree, as illustrated in the previous point. We can go one step further and connect to the divine in its invisible form of pure energy. Higher will, radiant Light, unconditional Love of consciousness. Potentiality, the absolute creative energy that permeates all reality, the invisible behind the visible, the energy that created a seed that gets to grow into a huge oak tree.
None of these layers depend on each other to exist. There is no order. Some of us are naturally gifted in one or two, and could benefit from improving the others. I’ve seen people who are quite disconnected from themselves, but highly connected to everything else — and the other way around.
Disconnection makes us feel alone, depressed, anxious, and with low self-esteem. We are social beings, we crave belonging and connection. Yet, in a highly connected world, we get connected to so many irrelevant things that we end up disconnecting from what matters the most. The result is, we get confused and misaligned.
Even among people dedicated to their spiritual path, it is not difficult to find those who, albeit highly connected to the divine, don’t feel connected to their brothers and sisters. Oh I’ve been there myself so many times. This generates a deep yearning and longing for an authentic community and spiritual family.
We are humans, and we are in this experience together. We are never alone — yet we can feel so alone.
The more I do my work, the more I realize how connection is paramount not only for our well-being but also for our spiritual progression. As a result, connection is one of the pillars of my work.
Connection can bring us immense fulfillment on its own. Without self-connection, we feel a great amount of confusion, which causes immense suffering and frustration. Much of spirituality is about healing our suffering, which comes from a lack of connection and not recognizing illusions that blur reality.
We can talk about joy, expansion, self-realization, living your purpose, and all the good stuff that comes from spiritual growth. But truly, all of these sound rather intangible for many of us who are experiencing suffering day after day. We just want the pain to go away.
And so, we begin at that: taking care of our suffering. And so, we connect a little bit more. And so, we suffer a little bit less.
On and on.
Until we return to ourselves. Until we return to belonging right here, right now.
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