Spirituality is full of paradoxes; polarities to be integrated for wholeness.
Not only this or that, but both. Not only still, and not only expanding. Both, when coming together at the same time, create a third entity, a new unity bigger than their sums. That is when 1 + 1 = 3.
And so we move with the Light: We can move fast, expanding nonstop, and integrating at the same time. On and on.
How does this work?
This requires you to not resist the energy, that deep impulse that comes from within. To not resist love and your own heart. And so you can do it all with ease and grace. When you don’t struggle with yourself, you find stillness, no matter what you do.
Yes, you can move fast, but it is almost as if you didn’t move at all. In the blink of an eye, you find yourself in a new life. Blink again, surprise surprise.
Light is Clarity, and it is always flowing. It doesn’t allow for stagnation. If you are stuck or stagnant, hesitating, you are resisting light, and resisting life. Clarity makes things easier, and simpler; that clear next step, that often comes as you move with it — and not as you hesitate to it.
Isn’t Spirituality about Stillness?
At the same time isn’t spirituality about stillness? So how does it work, to move so fast, to change so abruptly?
We can move fast, in stillness.
I remember once in a Zen Buddhist center in a silent retreat, where we all had daily chores. Those who were in the kitchen were directly warned: there are hundreds of people to cook for and serve at 12:00 sharp. You have work to do: be present, be mindful, and be efficient.
It means driving a car at 300 km per hour. One hour passes, and you are 300 km from where you began. The car is moving, but you are inside the car, at ease, in stillness.
How does it feel for you to drive 300 km per hour?
Let’s say this is a perfectly maintained highway, with barely any other vehicles on it. It is a sunny day, the highway is open.
Maybe the sheer idea scares you, and so you don’t even dare to get into the car. Maybe you cannot even see you already have a fast car all these years!
Or you may dare to get in the car, but instead of driving 300 km, you go 80 km. A while after you dare 100km, and then 140km, but then you back off to 110 km.
Your human self is a vehicle for your soul that can go much faster than this, but it’s like you don’t know what you are equipped with.
And so you have a Ferrari and drive it like an old Beetle.
Maybe you can’t see the Ferrari, all illusions make it into a 1955 Beetle. Maybe you fear you can’t handle a Ferrari, you feel you are not ready and not prepared for it. And so, instead of preparing yourself by driving a bit faster every day and calming yourself down, getting used to the car, you simply ditch the whole idea. You discard it, as if impossible, not even realizing it is an option, and it could make it all so great fun!
Or maybe, just maybe, you dare to hit the accelerator. Now, think about it: all you did was hit the accelerator with your foot and steer the wheel, things you are rather used to doing – just not at that speed. When you look at it, not much is necessary to drive the car closer to its capacity on a good and empty highway (then again, maybe you don’t see the highway is good and empty).
Except, within yourself. Within you, there’s much to practice, to prepare for that drive. Your panic, your drama, your fear of driving fast, your nervous system, your illusions and filters, your discomfort. Oh yes, there is a lot to take care of within to accept the simplicity of it.
There’s a fear of surrendering to the challenge, to your capabilities. You don’t trust it, you don’t feel safe – yet you force yourself to!
Finally, you do it but you make it so much harder than it has to be. It could have been fun and smooth, but you couldn’t let it be that way – you couldn’t see it that way. So you make it hard, you strive for perfection instead of fun, you find faults, and you overdo the preparation and training.
Alternatively, yes there’s the possibility that you surrender, relax, in ease, and just breathe, still mind. You are so relaxed behind the wheel and trust yourself that you don’t even feel you are moving.
It is all so natural, so connected, you are aligned and so in wholeness you just keep driving.
Sure, sometimes there are stumbles, you question where to turn, and you get distracted by the beautiful view. Yet you train yourself to keep focused, to not overreact, to stick to that next stop you want to visit, and not make it harder than it has to be: you trust, you breathe, you relax behind the wheel, and you keep going.
You make your mind your servant. Truly, that is all it takes.
You are the Ferrari. You got this Ferrari but your heart is not open, your mind is full of judgments, so you can’t receive it, you can’t see it for what it is, and so how could you use it to its full capacity?
When you get to 300 km/h you might find out it can easily go to 500 km/h, 1000 km/h, with more wonders, with more relaxation, with more pleasure, on and on.
It is no different than saving that beautiful dress for that special occasion that never comes. That amazing dress that you love so much but is always in the dark wardrobe and won’t be worn more than once or twice before it doesn’t fit you anymore – because you judge yourself and your life to not be good enough for it.
One day you put on the dress to go to the coffee shop around the corner, naturally, without overthinking, because that is what you wanted, because you feel great, because you allow yourself to feel great and feel like yourself.
Why Oh Why?
We feel we are going too fast when we are being forceful, pushing ourselves to do something, and we push ourselves because we are afraid and resist it. But the more we are in stillness within and purify our minds, the more we do things at ease, without stress, and without making a big deal.
We are just doing what we want, following our calls, in our essence.
There’s nothing more natural than this. Just look at a child, how they play, how they want to dress. See, this means the way we live is unnatural, for we are constantly holding ourselves back, constantly fearful and totally unconscious of our fears.
This is it. This life, right here, right now, is the ritual, is the party, is the celebration!
It is your car ride, it is your dress, it is your choice. It is your life journey, your celebration, daring to be you.
The key is the understanding that it doesn’t take much. It is much simpler than we let our minds make it into.
The main effort is to stop holding ourselves back, for this is where most of our energy is going.
What do you want?
All you have to do is to allow yourself to go, once and for all. To make things simpler. To have faith in yourself, first and foremost. To purify your mind, and open your heart.
Even if the very first, second and third time you dare is full of fear and anxiety, if it comes out all weird, keep going, keep breathing, keep relaxing, keep present, keep learning, and you will get there.
Or rather, you will get here, in this life in the present moment, living it, at the speed of light, fully, without even moving. For it is all within you. It has always been.
So stop struggling with yourself. You are the one making the drama, and you are the one accepting the drama – whereas all life did was give you a good car that you are afraid to use, and so you keep it parked in the garage – hopefully by now you can at least see the car, with the full talk!
Will you use it? Will you accept who you are, and embrace what you want?
We can only expand through challenges.
Life is challenging by design, but the struggle we create for ourselves.
Life is challenging, but it doesn’t have to be a struggle.
The snake is nothing but a rope lying on the ground.
We say our essence is Light, yet if we look at what is happening, we resist Light, we resist love, we resist life. We resist receiving all the gifts, and we receive creating, expressing, and giving all we want.
We resist ourselves. All for fear, guilt, and shame.
Your main responsibility in this life is to stay true to yourself.
Surrendering to the expansion is not only about surrendering to the spiritual path or your personal growth.
It is about surrendering to yourself and stopping struggling with your heart. Stop trying to make sense with your mind of your heart, that is so much grander and full of goodness.
Start trusting yourself.
Devotion to life, devotion to love, devotion to light, devotion to yourself.
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