Even hell can be decorated comfortably.
Wellbeing & growth. They are not the same thing, and we need both.
Yet, we have grown used to extremely high levels of convenience. So high it is hard for us to get off the couch and work efficiently and wholeheartedly on all those things we say we want.
The result? We keep stuck. Cozy, but stuck.
Frustration is about understanding something is not ok, seeing it for what it is — and then, taking action to live in alignment with ourselves.
So Much Comfort for…
Isn’t it funny that no matter how much we take care of our wellbeing we seem to never be fulfilled? We can always have one more day off. If anything, we seem to be more and more easily stressed — less and less resilient to change our lives.
We dream and dream — but don’t do anything about it.
The natural state of our soul, as eternal beings, is growth — and not stagnation. Yet all the modern convenience gets us stuck. The result? Frustration.
Frustration is a call of your soul, claiming your true nature of expansion and growth.
For that, frustration is sacred: it is saying exactly what is not working, so you can contemplate it, learn from it, and change your life accordingly. It is all for you to return into alignment with the deepest longings of your heart and soul.
Frustration tells us what we care about, what matters, what we want instead of where we are. It shows us our emotional wounds that need care. Through all of these, it brings us clarity and direction.
The point is to stop to pay attention to why something frustrates us in the first place: it is an invitation for us to know ourselves better.
It is as simple as asking yourself these questions when frustrated:
- What am I frustrated about?
- Why am I frustrated about it?
- Why does this matter?
Yet, instead of listening and learning from it, we run away from it and go after a massage, exercise, or watch a sitcom to feel better. However, this only exacerbates the problem: we hide important things under the carpet, and bring about disconnection and numbing into our lives.
Don’t get me wrong, life is not easy and we all need breaks and recharge. The issue is when our breaks become just other escapist methods, not different from being addicted to our phones, overconsuming Netflix, overdrinking, or oversleeping. When we live for the weekends and that getaway, something is not alright. And to know that, self-awareness is key.
After silencing our frustration so many times, we get to a bleak life, one where we don’t even remember what we wanted anymore. If you are particularly confused, this might be a reason why.
Identify what is blocking you, learn how to listen to your heart, and the n1 key for connection: Watch my free miniclass “Live from the Heart,”
Listen to Your Frustration
We don’t like this world or our profession, we are not sexually and emotionally satisfied, and our creativity has been blocked. And instead of doing something about it, we just keep coping with it and feeling all the same frustration the next day.
Instead of going for a rupture that can change our lives, we take a bath and repeat it all the next day.
Learn from it; see what it has to show you.
By learning, you will understand yourself much better: learning brings understanding. Now, it is not because we understand something that we need to accept it. There’s a line between contentment and change, and it is through being present with our frustration and present moment that we can develop good discernment.
Sometimes, the change needed is internal: we need to change our attitude, and the way we see things, become more positive, and take care of our minds. Other times, we need to take actual steps to change the outside: how we relate to people, our jobs, and our earthly situation.
The problem with wellness
Your soul has much bigger plans for you. The longings of your heart are waiting for you to trust it.
We all need a break at times, to recharge and refill our cups. It is an important part of our growth to be able to stop and recalibrate, so we don’t implode or burn out. And yes sometimes we are overwhelmed and need a breather to have the energy to change. Sometimes we are in overwhelming situations that there’s no way around, like it is for many new moms or people dealing with disease. This way, we can regather ourselves.
These are great reasons for wellbeing. It is a foundation that supports us when we need a breather. It supports us to have the strength to keep going as needed and improve our lives.
The issue arises when we don’t engage in change or growth, and just keep stuck in not thriving and wellness. We remain dissatisfied with life, victimize ourselves, and don’t empower ourselves to take the lead in our lives — we do nothing about it. We get stuck walking in circles going nowhere, for it is nice and comfortable right there in the spa.
We are using wellness for coping, instead of recharging. And so, we keep dissatisfied.
Like seeds that need to dare to go through out of the ground and become flowers, face the unknown, and trust the calls of our souls. Instead, we keep inside the seed oblivious to what lies outside. We repeat the next day and the next.
It doesn’t need to be a massage or a spa. It can also be spiritual practices, such as meditation, yoga, or breathwork. Instead of listening and evolving, going out and dipping our toes in the water, we use these powerful tools to keep ourselves safe and stuck, accepting what doesn’t have to be accepted. We are all so much bigger and stronger than we think!
Even hell can be decorated comfortably.
Too much comfort is not our friend. It creates hell with shiny colors. Can you see through the illusion?
Learning, Healing & Growing
Emotional intelligence is about feeling, listening, and learning about yourself. Your emotions teach you about your inner reality: what you care about, what you don’t, what is going well, what is not working, and what you are overreacting about.
Emotions show you where you are, so you can use your consciousness to heal, redirect yourself, and grow.
Change is the only constant. Now, can you change from within, out of what would be best for you?
Doing anything to avoid feeling, not listening to the message, and constantly repressing and coping is well, the opposite of emotional intelligence.
It is a rather reactive way to allow your emotions to dictate your life and control you.
What is needed from us is to do less, and not react nor go running. Dare to stay put, dare to stay in the gap: feel, listen, learn, and adjust life accordingly.
You are not your emotions and you are not your thoughts. You have emotions, and you have thoughts.
You can use them to your favor, and learn about yourself from them. Yet, don’t let them control you. Your will and your soul are so much bigger! As long as you keep reactive and let your unconscious emotions and thoughts control you, you are living in separation, from ego, and you are not being your authentic self.
Most of Us Don’t Want Growth — and That’s OK
We say we want growth, we dream, and yet, we don’t move forward. That’s the reality for most of us — although we don’t like to admit it.
It’s understandable. Mostly, we don’t want any extra effort in life — despite energy exchange being the norm of life to be possible. It is not about right and wrong. My main point here is about honesty: self-awareness. Can we just be honest with ourselves? Can we simply acknowledge what we want and live in alignment with ourselves?
Honesty is the first step to living in alignment. When we are out of alignment, saying one thing and acting in another, we create a great amount of stress, confusion, and suffering inside of us. This greatly disconnects us from our souls.
Sometimes we need to rest, reset, and recharge. Other times, we need to stop coping and adjusting to a life situation we are not fine with — and start changing things, and acting in integrity to ourselves.
Learn from your frustration. Let it show you where you truly stand.
Hi, I am Aline Ra M, spiritual teacher, healer, and mentor. Thank you for sharing your time and energy with me.
I invite you to watch my free miniclass “Live from the Heart,” a concise miniclass demystifying the obstacles to joy. Identify what is blocking you, learn how to listen to your heart, and the n1 key for connection.
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